Burning life's instruction book

Friday, January 10, 2003

I have come to the somewhat underwhelming realisation that technology is in fact out to get us. How do I know this?

Because, I just do okay. Dont argue.

Today my boss decided it was about time Rawhide got a computer to put all of our designs on it. Christ on a f**king bike this man cannot make a decision even if you have a plug up his ass. Its like he's in a permanent state of being not plugged in. He's just waiting for someone to flip the 'on' switch so he'll suddenly activate.
Sadly not one of us has the faintest f**king clue where this mythical switch is, so he remains, unplugged, and as useful as air conditioning in a field.

Does he want a computer? or does he want a colour photocopier?

it takes three hours to thrash this one out. In the end I grab his hand and force him to the computer shop where we proceed to spend another three hours argueing. I'm on the side of a photocopier instead, I just dont think he'll use the computer really. I think it'll just sit there gathering dust bunnies wishing someone with an 'on' switch had purchased it instead.
But no he's determined. The computer has buttons and pretty colours see. he's never seen one before (I kid you not) and so its all fascinating to him.

So, after much argueing, he buys the computer. We get it back to Rawhide, its up to me to put it all together. big f**king shock there huh boys and girls. Cliff meanwhile sits down opposite offering handy hints and tips out of the wrong instruction manual, although he insists its the right one he just cant work out why the computer doesnt have a dial tone (because its not a mobile phone, like the manual he's reading)

I put it all together. Lo and behold we're missing two cables.

Back to the computer shop, pick up the cables. Get back. Printer doesnt work, its busted.

Cliff though, insists its not busted, and he proceeds to go at it with a screwdriver. I'm not sure why he's doing this, but he just f**ked his garuntee and he will not listen to me when I tell him that will happen. he just gets gung ho, removes some plastic and then takes it back.
They tell him he's busted it.
He has to BUY a whole new printer *sigh*

Back to the computer.

Oh god I leave him alone with it for five seconds and hes managed to install everything in portugese. I cant even spell portugese (can I?!?!) let alone read it.
Now I have to uninstall everything, and re-install in our actual language. When I ask Cliff why he picked portugese he told me he thought that was just a font. He thought it would look pretty.

*Bashes head on table*

In the end, i'm sure both the computer and I had just had enough, and we both switched off. Which is pretty good considering the boss is terminally switched off.

I hate technology. I hate pointless days more.