Burning life's instruction book

Monday, May 27, 2002

Holy CRAP i'm a lazy cow.
Need to get my ass back in gear and start posting properly here. Its so f**king depressing i'm just losing contact with everyone I know online, I have no clue what my problem is but I think i need a bloody good spanking for being such a lazy biatch....

*crickets*
*crickets*
*crickets*

Ahem.

Anyways I havent got all that much to say. Well I have but theres far too much and i'm far too pissed off to even begin because if I do my head might just explode.

I'm pissed off for openers that one of my favrote shows Dark Angel has been cancelled without it even reaching a PROPER F**KING CONCLUSION!!!
What pile of horse shit is that?!
Someone will pay.

In other news, I decided it was time to open up a Buffy/Angel/Dark Angel mailing list/chat group whatsit thingy so if youre a fan and wanna come go nuts over these shows, join me here!

Seeya there maybe.

But only if youre nice...are you nice?...well are ya, punk?!

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

No I cant help it, i'm totally in love.
You know i've adored Denis Leary since I saw him for the first time in 'Judgement night' - a fantastic little movie - but the moment I rested my eyes upon him I just thought, "The man is far too cool for words."
Then I saw him in 'Suicide Kings' and the obsession was born.

"I'm sick of talking about shoes, dont even talk about f**king socks to me!"

But it wasnt until I finally found a copy of his stand up show "No cure for cancer"....that I became hooked.
And now no matter how I look at it, the man is my idol. I get home, i'm pissed off?
Put on Denis and he will rant and rave and swear his way through an hour and a bit, and I will be laughing my ass off.

But tonight I finally heard it, the stand up show that was only ever released on CD, "Lock and load"

Oh lawdy I feel like i'm going to burst from laughing so hard. I cant cope.

And thats it, i'm in love *sigh* I havent had a crush on a star in years.

F**king bunch of girly bullshite...

you know what really f**king pisses me off about these CD’s, you f**king buy then and then you can’t f**king open them. But when you do open them it takes 15 minutes and f**king plastic you gotta cut that open first and then that takes like 5 minutes and then you gotta get that f**king little rubbery plastic strip thing that has, you know that’s stuck to the edge and you gotta peel that off that’s f**king stuck all over your fingers then you gotta cut that fucking silver f**king dog bone f**king... ~ Denis Leary
Well buggar...

That is all
I have made a decision to try and cool off a little and not get so worked up about things, if I continue to get royally pee'd off to the degree I do, I'll probably have a coronary by the time i'm thirty.
Just so tough when youre surounded by idiots.

At any rate, I'm going to have to think of something else to put in this journal now from time to time! :-/

*crickets*
*crickets*
*crickets*

I need a tumbleweed gif.

Well that was fun......

Ah, f**k it.

The best laid plans of mice and men.....mice.....and men....?????? well i've seen a lot of mens plans but how many mouse plans have there been throughout the centuries? sod all. Never have I seen the newspaper headline: "Operation Cheese Smuggle Foiled!"

Sunday, May 12, 2002

So I've calmed down a little since last entry. Taken a time out and gathered myself and tried really really hard to not actually cause harm to anything though i'm telling you with the way my street is right now I have been so very tempted.
I'm still bugged out by people always beign in other peoples business, but that subject will always be a pet hate of mine.

What is worrying me right now is the fact that people have let me cook.
This is a mistake.
I should never be even let near a kitchen let alone left to cook. Right now i'm sitting here watching something burn. Its quite fun.
See the trick is when somethings not cooking at all when youre watching it waiting for it to cook so you make sure it doesnt burn...the secret is to leave for 0.1 of a second to maybe, I dont know go get socks off of the washing line or something.
Because I can garuntee..no matter how long that stuff has been in the oven. Five seconds, five hours...five days. I can promise you when you get back from your mundane chore, you will have a bonfire on your hands.

Over the years I have become accustomed to eating charcoal. Its good, good for your digestion so I hear.

Thats what I keep telling myself, though i'm longing for some food that actually melts in the mouth, i'm tired of breaking my teeth on lumps of burnt weirdness.
Hell even my soup ends up crispy.

I need to go to cookery school. STAT.

So anyway thats my sunday, left alone to cook for everyone. I'm not sure if an apocalypse was scheduled for today but thats what youre getting, soon as I have to use the microwave for the corn...we can all kiss our asses goodbye.

With a pinch of salt and a little ground pepper you can make the world go BOOM

Tuesday, May 07, 2002

F**k f**k f**kity f**k.
I hate people. I've said it before and I will damned well say it again I really hate people.
Answer me this: Why is it everyone has to be in every bloody other persons business?

The street I live on I'm sure is no different to the rest of the world, but the street I am on you cant f**king well go to the toilet without everyone f**king knowing about it five seconds later and the whispering beginning.

"Did she pee?"
"I dont know but I heard she's having an affair with a toilet roll!"
"*GASP*"

It drives me nuts.
Just the other week myself and my little 14 year old brother are walking down the street when this snotty brat twelve year old kid pipes up and asks us two complete strangers, "Are you two in love, do you snog hehehehe?"
"No, he's my f**king brother you moron." I snappishly reply.
"Dont swear at me i'll tell my mum," she replies all 'na na-ishly' with her finger to her nose.
"GOOD!" I snapped back, "Because then I can tell the stupid cow to tell her children not to talk to f**king strangers."

WANKERS.

I hate it, I hate that everyone always knows everyone elses business.
Just the other day someone said to me, "Ah well you cant do anything on this street without everyone else knowing about it."
WHY NOT?!
FUCK OFF!!

I dont give a shit about your poncy pathetic life you stupid sack wearing crap haired old witch, why the f**k do you give a shit about mine? Why is it so important that we know the woman down the street has had 3 partners in a month? Who gives a crap that Mr Jones got a new car?
Jealousy is all I can put it down to. Theyre just jealous that their lives are so pathetic and mundane and that theyre needy losers with faces like planks and no hope of ever getting anything other than shat on from on high in life. They have to get in everyone elses f**king business and then chatter about it.

F**K OFF YOU TOSSPIECES !!

For f**ks sakes.
I cant imagine anything more boring than sitting on your arse all day every f**king day watching the world go by and taking f**king notes about what your neighbours are doing. Christ on a f**king bike already.

Words fail me, but I tell you I am not surprised theres so many f**king people losing it these days and just going postal.

LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE YOU NOSEY BASTARDS!!!

Bloody bastard buggar bum....arse....and holes.

Saturday, May 04, 2002

I have a notify list! Get notified!

Suckers...teehheeeeee ;)

Friday, May 03, 2002

I think Mama Cass said it best when she said; "All the leaves are ACKKCARKKKACKKAKKKKKKGURGGGGGGGGKAAAKKKGRGACK"

I'm fine, How was your day?