Burning life's instruction book

Wednesday, January 23, 2002

If I could insert a sound file that was simply me screaming, I would do it right about now.
It has begun, the decision to quit smoking after ten years of it is finally upon me. I sit here armed to the teeth with lollipops to suck on and biros to hold, looking like a complete psychopath.
I need a smoke, you have no idea how badly.

So I've been 14 hours so far and by my standards that is an incredible thing. I have never been more than 1 hour without a cigarette since I started smoking all those years back. This is torture and if theres anyone else out there feeling like I am right now, you have my sympathies.
But, I am determined that I'm going to do it.
So wish me luck, if diaries can do such things.

I'll report back later.

Monday, January 21, 2002

I'm still awake and you wouldnt believe the advert I just saw on the TV. It was for electrical safety in the home and featured two elderly people laying down for a kinky night in on an electric blanket. Cut to morning and it showed the two old guys burnt to a crisp, a caption quickly came up telling us to remember to switch off electrical appliances when we go to bed.

Dammit, am I the only one that likes to go to sleep with the radio on? Little do we know that lovely expensive hi-fi in the corner could have me marked for death. I think I shall now spend the rest of my day wandering around the house painting small 'skull and crossbones' logo's onto everything. Just for giggles y'know. It's a cruel, strange world. You've gotta love it.
So it's 5.30am and I find myself starting one of these online diary things. Why? because I can. Because I'm bored and have sod all else to do. Because it's just the kind of abnormal thing I find myself doing when I havent had a cigarette in seven hours and the shop's not open for me to get any coffee from.

The big question is this: What in the blue hell goes into this thing, and will anyone actually read it?
I can answer neither but if you're reading it right now, hi!

I say my life is crazed and thats nothing short of true, I have the strangest things happen to me for no good reason and I seem to live my life in a terminal state of befuddlement. Take today for instance. A normal Sunday in anyone elses life but for me it involved a car battery, a lot of walking, a fight with a shopkeeper and getting very, very rained on. It's a long and depressing story but needless to say, the end of the day didnt bring any relief. The cars still busted, I never did get my money from the bank and I am still without cigarettes. My hair is still soggy too. Hate that.

So what else for this prestigious first entry?
A little about me: I'm a girly, I'm in my twenties and I'm from England. It rains a lot here. You'll probably hear a lot about that in the future. I have a darling boyfriend that we shall simply name P for now. He drives me loopy 90% of the time but hey, he looks like Fred Durst so what the hell (I love him dearly really, if I ever complain, take no notice). I have an active online life, run various groups and the like but I'm not going to mention them here, not right away anyway.
A lot of people believe the lowest form of wit is sarcasm. Not me, I love it and use it to its fullest.

I think that'll do for now, like I say its 5.40 in the morning now and I shouldnt be allowed to even be awake, let alone writing a diary. So i'll end it here for today. No doubt something whacked out will happen later, and it will appear on here.

Until then....